Hope and Healing for Moms

It feels so good to know that working out can become a positive release and a healthy addiction. I missed my workout yesterday, and I'm really feeling the desire to get out and be active! That feels great. My kids also show the signs of not getting their big run for the day and their change of scenery, which is another big motivator. You can really tell when we don't get to go for our two hour fun time, as they go stir crazy. That being said, I think I will go see Dionne For Zumba! Talk to you later :-)

Continuing to feel good about my nutrition. Tonight, I watched a DVR recorded episode of extreme weight-loss. I find this show quite inspirational, because it helps me to realize that my heart for transformation from the inside out is right on. Those who succeed in transforming their bodies first succeed in transforming their heart and mind. This will be me, I will not stay in this emotional and mental turmoil for the rest of my life. I will not stay in this shroud of fat due to multiple traumas over the course of my life. I will break out, I will be who God called me to be. End of story, beginning of life!

Happy Tuesday. I'm excited about how I am shedding pounds each day. I am down about 6 pounds after one week, which I expect to see slow down a little bit after the cleanse. This has happened for me before, A rapid weight-loss at the beginning followed by a more gradual weight loss afterward. I hope and pray that I can avoid my starvation – binge cycle this time. The long-term goal is to eat in moderation and stay active, focusing on a generally Natural and mostly gluten-free  diet.  My heart is to no longer be addicted to food. Please, God, let this be the last time I need to go through major weight loss! With God, all things are possible. I am convinced that he who began a good work in me will complete it till the day of Christ Jesus. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! No weapon formed against me will prosper. Every tongue which rises against me in judgment I will show to be in the wrong. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and thei...

Monday morning is here, and with that comes the transition from having my family together to feeling just a little torn apart. Sometimes I have to think about military wives and how  they often live without husbands for months on end so that I can gain some perspective on the challenge of being apart from my husband during the day. For some reason, when Robert leaves to go to work I feel a measure of grief and loss. My rational, logical brain tells me that it is normal, it's silly to feel sad, that he will be home in a few short hours. My heart, on the other hand, which is riddled with abandonment, rejection and trauma tries to hold on for dear life. I don't want him to leave the house, I want him to stay and keep me safe. I want to work together for common goals, side-by-side, hand in hand. I want him to shield me, to protect me from the world. But of course, he cannot. So… At least in the past… I eat. Processing these feelings today, I have begun to realize just how man...

I didn't get to do my blog Friday or Saturday. Having migraines sets me back a lot of the time. It's all surrounding hormonal shifts, and it is getting better as my body gets healthier. Unfortunately I did have to take some pretty strong antimigraine medicine three times this week. I suffer from complex migraine disorder, which causes a person to be 30% more likely to suffer from a stroke if it goes untreated. It usually starts as what  feels like a tension headache, then goes into nausea and then eventually confusion and cognitive dissonance. New medication helps me to nip it in the bud. Something that used to lay me flat and incapacitate me for a day or two and has hospitalized me twice is now over within the hour. I'm so happy that I didn't sabotage when I wasn't feeling well! My emotional eating is getting so much better. God has been leading me through a deep cleaning of my heart and soul, and for the first time I really do see the results. Today has been the e...

Ok, let's get this day started! As every day, Christian has ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis, for children at risk for or having a diagnosis of autism).  At times it can present a challenge in my ability to concentrate on preparing for my own  daily nutritional needs. I tend to run around while he is with his teacher, taking care of 10-month-old Chloe and cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast and typically forget to get anything together for myself. Today, however, I was able to put together a bag of on the go nibbles which actually included some good options for me! I added fresh apple slices with a teaspoon of peanut butter, which I whipped together with some water and Stevia to make a nice dip. I also added carrot slices and hummus, as well as a bag of popcorn to eat a few pieces of. Burned it, sorry to say, so I didn't eat any of that 😊 After I worked out at the gym (60 minutes of Yoga today), I ate the Apple and part of the peanut butter dip and a cheese stick for prote...

Feeling a little sore today, which in my book is a good thing! I am on my third Zumba  class of the week, with plans for a fourth, fifth and sixth. Robert and I realized that we probably should have started this cleanse over the weekend so that we wouldn't  need to go through the first couple of sluggish, foggy brained days without such a high level of responsibility. Lesson learned, start when you have a couple of days when you don't need to be quite so sharp! Detoxing the body takes a toll on the energy levels for the first couple of days, but by day three or four is start to feel a lot more energized. That's true for me, or would be if I hadn't had a midnight feeding for sweet princess Chloe 😊😍💗. I can't complain, though, she is such a treasure and an easy-going little one I'm feeling pretty awesome about the eating, keeping up well with the 21 Day Fix plan without really feeling deprived at all and noticing my clothes are starting to fit a little looser s...

Ok, yesterday wasn't that much  different  from a regular day, except that we added our cleanse materials and subtracted dessert and substituted Shakeology. Actually, we started cutting back on desert a few days ago. Interestingly just subtracting my dessert and less healthy snacks that I've been grabbing throughout the past several weeks has caused me to lose about 4 pounds just in the past three or four days. It makes sense, because I am definitely burning plenty of calories at this point at the gym to be losing some weight, so I knew my nutrition was the thing holding me back. Life at home continues to make thinking about losing weight a little challenging, especially since having children is particularly stressful when they're  this young and have such constant needs. Ironically, Chloe's ten-month a growth spurt happened the same day I tried to start focusing on a nutrition change – ha ha! So here I am feeding her every two hours, she is extremely cranky, Ch...

Well, it has been a bit of a road, but after several months of counseling and studying and digging into the underneath of why I have so many issues with food, Robert and I are finally restarting today on our nutrition reset. Today we are doing our third 14 day colon cleanse together, which is such a great way to kick start a nutrition reset. We use natures sunshine clean start, berry flavor, and it really is a wonderful one. We scheduled this to begin the same day as starting the 21 Day Fix again, which we tried a few months ago but really couldn't get into because of some timing and personal issues. We're hopeful that this will help us to achieve our goal of being fit and vital in order to live a long healthy life together and to be the example our children need to live the same. I have been consistently working out at the gym now for several months, getting myself back to the point where I can do multiple Zumba classes each week. Now, I intend to increase my strength training...