Hope and Healing for Moms

Here goes nothing! This morning I need to get a chicken going for tonight's dinner, but the middle of the day is pretty busy and I don't want to be thinking about this after Christians therapy because I'm usually shot by then. That's a surefire recipe for driving through for dinner, which we really don't want! I haven't really decided what to use the chicken for yet, but it's sure to be a very juicy specimen. I read through several ideas for crockpot chicken on Pinterest, and blended some ideas I found with my on spice blend and my personal tip: cook your chicken breast side down! Gasp! Heresy! But the reviews don't lie, I have been doing my turkey and my chicken like this for a few years now and I am telling you – it comes out with the juiciest chicken breast ever! Turkey breast, too. I will update this blog post after it is done, but for now here are the steps that I followed: Thaw one frozen large whole chicken overnight, Or better yet, use a fresh ch...

As requested, my recipe for chicken curry! Easy crockpot curried chicken Serves 6-8 Ingredients: -One large yellow onion, diced -Two large chicken breasts, diced. (I sear mine on the grill, although this step can be skipped) -1 small can  Red curry paste of your choice (to taste, about a quarter to a half cup) -1 regular sized can unsweetened coconut milk or coconut cream -optional: three medium zucchini, chopped and sautéed Place curry paste in the bottom of crockpot. Slowly whisk in coconut milk, blending spices smoothly. Combine remaining ingredients in crockpot. Cook on low 4–6 hours. Add zucchini at the end. Fluffy red quinoa: Ingredients: -2 cups red quinoa, rinsed  -2 tablespoons coconut oil -4 cups hot chicken or vegetable stock -garlic powder to taste In medium sauce pan, heat coconut oil over medium high heat. Add quinoa, toasting while stirring constantly for 3–5 minutes. Slowly add hot stock, stirring constantly, until all is incorporated.  Bring to boil,...

Not much time to talk today, or recently honestly because it's been busy around here with a huge garage sale. We are getting back on our feet and getting back to our normal routine, including the all important meal prep day. This week's new offerings: lean veggie – infused meatloaf, chicken stew baby food, and marinated chicken breast. Out of the freezer I pulled the second batch of the Southwest chicken chili I made a couple of weeks ago. I will put half of the meatloaf mixture into the freezer for a future week. That way we never get bored , but when I make a batch it does double duty!

Okay, so last nights dinner of gluten-free penne pasta, turkey meatballs, and no sugar added marinara sauce spiced up with caramelized onions and fresh basil over a bed of sautéed Italian spice green beans was amazing. Yes, I recognize that the previous sentence contained awful grammar; please don't post the YouTube video of weird Al Jankovich's  "I hate these word crimes" :-) (must plug for the video that we cracked up at while we ate dinner) It's so interesting, because I put what seemed like a reasonable portion in front of us without actually measuring. At the end of the meal, I had a quarter of my food left and wished I had only eaten half; Robert ate his entire plate and regretted it. We are's changing so well! Little by little, we are becoming a healthy family. It was amazing to have all of that food in the refrigerator as well, because when I came to packing for lunches today it was so simple! We were actually able to leave the house by 7:30 AM so that...

Ok, not exactly but just about!! We are doing really well on portion control in our house, and yay- in lost 2 lbs this week!! This is even after an entire week of missing my Zumba classes because Christian has a specialized swim course that goes straight through the middle of my workout schedule for a 10 day period. In total since having Chloe, I am down a little over 20 pounds! I must say that it was not until we began a serious choice to focus on getting proper nutrition and controlling our portions that the weight really started to drop. After a couple of hours of cooking, including making a huge dinner to portion up for future lunches this week, we now have in our refrigerator:  Four  premade salads. Four pre-portioned servings of gluten-free penne with turkey meatballs and marinara. Six portions of organic sautéed green beans with sautéed red bell pepper, slivered toasted almonds, and fresh herbs. Four portions of pan roasted winter vegetables with curry. Eight ripe...

Within the past year, God has really been helping me to take a genuine inventory of my emotional life. This is a topic that tends to have two polar reactions: The first is my favorite, intense interest and embracing of the deep conversation. The second makes it difficult to feel safe talking about it, and tends to be avoidance or in rare cases hostility. Even though this is the case, I want to talk a little bit about that topic here.  I have always been a very self-analytical and a somewhat perfectionistic person, tending to hold myself to basically impossible standards and by proxy expecting the same from others. While I do consider myself to be very self-aware, I also have come to see that I have glaring blind spots as well. Unfortunately, I also now realize that this has made me quite judgmental in the past. The hard part is coming out of that but seeing the aftermath and the bridges that I have burned. It is a lonely place to come out of, but thanks be to God who has broug...

Happy Wednesday! I'm glad that I started this blog out calling it the nutrition reset. That was apropos for the first couple of weeks. However, for the duration when I talk about nutrition lifestyle or exercise will just call it the healthy habit :-) As I post, I am with the kids getting ready to go to the beach. I went to Zumba this morning, did housework, and wasn't afraid to make plans to do another activity! This may not sound phenomenal to some, but for me it is an enormous change. Even before I went through my recent physical difficulties following my two pregnancies, I have long suffered from exhaustion and fatigue. I never was diagnosed but probably had chronic fatigue syndrome. Most likely in my case, it is due to my poor nutrition and lack of exercise. I have a few things working against me, including a slow metabolism and a genetic predisposition toward a larger and heavier body, but those are not the reason for my challenges. In truth, I actually have always strugg...

As promised, here is the recipe for my southwest chicken chili :-) 1 tbsp olive, avocado or coconut oil 1 lg yellow onion, diced 1/2 batch cooked black beans, drained (or 2 cans drained)  4 cans diced tomatoes  4 ears roasted corn (or 1 can drained)  1 large roasted chicken, minus the breast, diced (I saved the breast for salads) 1 pkg McCormick White Chili spice (even though this is not a white chili, I wanted this flavor profile) 1 tbsp garlic powder  1 tbsp smoked paprika 1/4 c balsamic or white balsamic vinegar In a heavy pot, heat the oil over medium high heat. Add the diced onion, stirring occasionally and cooking until slightly browned. Add the chicken, beans, and spices; stir continuously while cooking for three minutes. Add the cans of tomatoes. Bring to a medium boil, continue cooking for five minutes stirring occasionally. At this point, you could put the entire mixture into your crockpot. It would be a little full, so just fill it as high as it goes and s...

While talking over today's Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest devotional with Robert at breakfast, it occurred to me that while it is true that we were not expected to use our abilities to fulfill the purposes of God in and of themselves, we are indeed  called to shine. Perhaps the problem comes when we believe that we are to be in the spotlight – meaning by contrast that all others must be shrouded in darkness in order for us to shine.  God is an artist, and we are the outworking of his internal and intrinsic beauty.  I have long been terrified to shine. I have been accused of trying to hog the spotlight, had my motives questioned, and spent the past 40 years in self-doubt. I want this to be the last year that I worry about whether or not I doubt myself, or listen to the criticisms of others.  Someone I love once told me that I will never succeed because I will never do the work it takes to succeed. Because of that, I have lived under a shroud of fear. N...

Here is my roasted chicken recipe. I hope you enjoy! I use it for several different applications throughout the week. I love having large quantities of prepared foods ready so that I am not tempted to snack or drive through somewhere! Roasted chicken: Preheat convection oven to 300° or conventional oven to 325°  1 or 2 large roasting chickens 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil or sesame oil 1/4 cup balsamic, rice wine, or other high-quality vinegar (Optional: 1/2 cup white wine) Thyme, smoked paprika, fresh garlic or garlic powder, or other savory spices on hand In roasting pan, Place chicken breast side down. This may be unconventional, but provides the juiciest chicken breast! Rub chicken beneath the skin with herbs and spices. Whisk together oil, vinegar, and white wine. Brush or use basting tube to inject half of this marinade between the skin and the meat. Roast for 45 minutes. Use basting brush or tube to baste chicken for the remaining time needed to bring internal tem...

Happy weekend :-) Our family enjoyed our time together this weekend, including a trip to the gym on Saturday and lots of healthy activities. Robert and I have really done well as a team eating by the 21 Day Fix plan throughout the last couple of weeks. My prayer is that we will continue to be just that, a team. We have had a couple of treats this weekend, including a brownie type concoction made with Shakeology and peanut butter that wasn't too bad and satisfied that chewy  craving. We will do another little treat this evening made with sugar-free fudgesicles, peanut butter and lite Cool Whip that while slightly high in the calorie department is much better than the Ben & Jerry's  peanut butter cup ice cream I got addicted to this spring! Other than that, we have been eating plenty of vegetables, fruits, and lean proteins. My theory that I need to eat the same way that I feed my kids is helping me to think through this reset! I am very picky about what I allow them to eat,...

I think I had a personal milestone today. I went to the gym for Zumba class, but it was canceled. I had just checked both children into the kids' club, and the worker let me know that the class was canceled because the instructor called in sick.  Tempted.  Tempted to check the kids back out and go home, tempted to leave them in there and go sit in the hot tub, tempted to "stretch" for an hour. Instead, I decided to walk on the treadmill for at least five minutes. 30 minutes later, I had burned about 200 calories. I even did some running! With my heart rate up and a decent runners high spurring me forward, I continued on and did a little bit of lifting hoping to work some strength into my slowly recovering hip and lower back. I ended up doing a full hour of cardio, Weightlifting, and good yoga stretching! Wow, do I feel good! I probably need  more walk/running like today at least once or twice a week. I adore Zumba, but it continues to stress the weak parts ...

It feels so good to know that working out can become a positive release and a healthy addiction. I missed my workout yesterday, and I'm really feeling the desire to get out and be active! That feels great. My kids also show the signs of not getting their big run for the day and their change of scenery, which is another big motivator. You can really tell when we don't get to go for our two hour fun time, as they go stir crazy. That being said, I think I will go see Dionne For Zumba! Talk to you later :-)

Continuing to feel good about my nutrition. Tonight, I watched a DVR recorded episode of extreme weight-loss. I find this show quite inspirational, because it helps me to realize that my heart for transformation from the inside out is right on. Those who succeed in transforming their bodies first succeed in transforming their heart and mind. This will be me, I will not stay in this emotional and mental turmoil for the rest of my life. I will not stay in this shroud of fat due to multiple traumas over the course of my life. I will break out, I will be who God called me to be. End of story, beginning of life!

Happy Tuesday. I'm excited about how I am shedding pounds each day. I am down about 6 pounds after one week, which I expect to see slow down a little bit after the cleanse. This has happened for me before, A rapid weight-loss at the beginning followed by a more gradual weight loss afterward. I hope and pray that I can avoid my starvation – binge cycle this time. The long-term goal is to eat in moderation and stay active, focusing on a generally Natural and mostly gluten-free  diet.  My heart is to no longer be addicted to food. Please, God, let this be the last time I need to go through major weight loss! With God, all things are possible. I am convinced that he who began a good work in me will complete it till the day of Christ Jesus. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! No weapon formed against me will prosper. Every tongue which rises against me in judgment I will show to be in the wrong. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and thei...

Monday morning is here, and with that comes the transition from having my family together to feeling just a little torn apart. Sometimes I have to think about military wives and how  they often live without husbands for months on end so that I can gain some perspective on the challenge of being apart from my husband during the day. For some reason, when Robert leaves to go to work I feel a measure of grief and loss. My rational, logical brain tells me that it is normal, it's silly to feel sad, that he will be home in a few short hours. My heart, on the other hand, which is riddled with abandonment, rejection and trauma tries to hold on for dear life. I don't want him to leave the house, I want him to stay and keep me safe. I want to work together for common goals, side-by-side, hand in hand. I want him to shield me, to protect me from the world. But of course, he cannot. So… At least in the past… I eat. Processing these feelings today, I have begun to realize just how man...

I didn't get to do my blog Friday or Saturday. Having migraines sets me back a lot of the time. It's all surrounding hormonal shifts, and it is getting better as my body gets healthier. Unfortunately I did have to take some pretty strong antimigraine medicine three times this week. I suffer from complex migraine disorder, which causes a person to be 30% more likely to suffer from a stroke if it goes untreated. It usually starts as what  feels like a tension headache, then goes into nausea and then eventually confusion and cognitive dissonance. New medication helps me to nip it in the bud. Something that used to lay me flat and incapacitate me for a day or two and has hospitalized me twice is now over within the hour. I'm so happy that I didn't sabotage when I wasn't feeling well! My emotional eating is getting so much better. God has been leading me through a deep cleaning of my heart and soul, and for the first time I really do see the results. Today has been the e...

Ok, let's get this day started! As every day, Christian has ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis, for children at risk for or having a diagnosis of autism).  At times it can present a challenge in my ability to concentrate on preparing for my own  daily nutritional needs. I tend to run around while he is with his teacher, taking care of 10-month-old Chloe and cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast and typically forget to get anything together for myself. Today, however, I was able to put together a bag of on the go nibbles which actually included some good options for me! I added fresh apple slices with a teaspoon of peanut butter, which I whipped together with some water and Stevia to make a nice dip. I also added carrot slices and hummus, as well as a bag of popcorn to eat a few pieces of. Burned it, sorry to say, so I didn't eat any of that 😊 After I worked out at the gym (60 minutes of Yoga today), I ate the Apple and part of the peanut butter dip and a cheese stick for prote...

Feeling a little sore today, which in my book is a good thing! I am on my third Zumba  class of the week, with plans for a fourth, fifth and sixth. Robert and I realized that we probably should have started this cleanse over the weekend so that we wouldn't  need to go through the first couple of sluggish, foggy brained days without such a high level of responsibility. Lesson learned, start when you have a couple of days when you don't need to be quite so sharp! Detoxing the body takes a toll on the energy levels for the first couple of days, but by day three or four is start to feel a lot more energized. That's true for me, or would be if I hadn't had a midnight feeding for sweet princess Chloe 😊😍💗. I can't complain, though, she is such a treasure and an easy-going little one I'm feeling pretty awesome about the eating, keeping up well with the 21 Day Fix plan without really feeling deprived at all and noticing my clothes are starting to fit a little looser s...

Ok, yesterday wasn't that much  different  from a regular day, except that we added our cleanse materials and subtracted dessert and substituted Shakeology. Actually, we started cutting back on desert a few days ago. Interestingly just subtracting my dessert and less healthy snacks that I've been grabbing throughout the past several weeks has caused me to lose about 4 pounds just in the past three or four days. It makes sense, because I am definitely burning plenty of calories at this point at the gym to be losing some weight, so I knew my nutrition was the thing holding me back. Life at home continues to make thinking about losing weight a little challenging, especially since having children is particularly stressful when they're  this young and have such constant needs. Ironically, Chloe's ten-month a growth spurt happened the same day I tried to start focusing on a nutrition change – ha ha! So here I am feeding her every two hours, she is extremely cranky, Ch...

Well, it has been a bit of a road, but after several months of counseling and studying and digging into the underneath of why I have so many issues with food, Robert and I are finally restarting today on our nutrition reset. Today we are doing our third 14 day colon cleanse together, which is such a great way to kick start a nutrition reset. We use natures sunshine clean start, berry flavor, and it really is a wonderful one. We scheduled this to begin the same day as starting the 21 Day Fix again, which we tried a few months ago but really couldn't get into because of some timing and personal issues. We're hopeful that this will help us to achieve our goal of being fit and vital in order to live a long healthy life together and to be the example our children need to live the same. I have been consistently working out at the gym now for several months, getting myself back to the point where I can do multiple Zumba classes each week. Now, I intend to increase my strength training...