Mercy!

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Mercy!

Scripture:

Matthew 7:1-5

1“Judge not, that you be not judged. ² For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. ³ And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? ⁴ Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? ⁵ Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Romans 2:1-2

Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things.

Romans 14:10-13

Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.

John 8:7-9

And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.

Galatians 6:1

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

James 2:13

For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

Devotional:

As I walk through Matthew, and as the Lord is showing me what He wants to share, I felt prompted to back up today and study the scriptures on judgment.

As a mom of a strong willed child, I realize now that I have been on both sides of this street. I have been a judging mom, and I have been a judged mom. When I was a judging mom, I was so blind to it. I did not understand that I was looking down on moms with children who did not sleep well, had behavior problems, did not listen, or who themselves lost their tempers with their children. My son Christian, as a baby, was very calm, compliant and truly easy despite his mental challenges. He slept through the night in less than 3 months and continued to do so, napped or rested happily in his crib, rarely cried unless he had an unmet physical need, and genuinely never got into anything he was told not to. I was a table leader at MOPS, and we had a couple of moms who were struggling with children who I now understand were strong willed. I would put on a polite and listening face but in reality, I was thinking that THEY were the problem. In some ways, they probably needed to seek some advice on different strategies, but what they really needed was mercy. What they really needed was a hug. What they really needed was NOT to be judged and looked down upon. What a huge log I had in my eye!

My little log remover was my precious, world-shaking, adorable strong willed daughter Chloe. Not only did she not sleep through the night (and only now at 3 ½ has begun to more nights than not – like 4 out of 7), but she also struggled at naptime, did not eat well (Christian has been the best eater since birth!!), screamed for every perceived need and want so loudly that our brains would scramble, and refused to take no for an answer for over two years. Discipline became my entire life. I felt like such an awful person, but continued to be encouraged by my amazing mentor and other mentor moms in MOPS that what I was doing was on the right track. Chloe would benefit from what became like a military exercise with no wiggle room for blurred boundaries. It was, and occasionally now is, very hard, but it absolutely has paid dividends in her behavior and in the quality of our home life. I hated that aspect of parenting, and I still do most of the time. I hate stopping a fun trip, missing out on play dates, and in fewer situations now, planning out a spanking for defiance. It’s NOT FUN. The other NOT FUN thing is that my little 5 year old has delayed all of these behaviors (for the sake of common terms, the Terrible Twos phase) until now, and is beginning to throw occasional tantrums (which are more challenging with a strong and athletic 5 year old boy) and I get to start at the beginning with him. Sigh.

Yesterday, I got to be on the other side of the “log” again out in front of his school. As I mentioned in a previous post, on Sunday he decided to run off without us. Since then I have recognized that his freedoms need to be reigned in for a season, and he is going to have to hold my hand whenever it is just me with the two kids. Christian loves to walk or run along the lines in the sidewalk, and yesterday he set his eyes on a line that was not the direction we were walking. Long story short, I really couldn’t accommodate him and go that way because of another responsibility, so I required him to walk with me. His first public tantrum ensued. Foot stomping, jerking out of my hand, screaming (pretty quietly in comparison), refusing to walk, and making a public display were among the difficulties. My daughter stayed with me and watch as I remained (with much effort) calm and held his shoulders and occasionally wrapped both arms around his flailing body as I repeated my requests to him and eventually made it to the car. I got her in, all the eyes on us, and stood back for a few seconds while he let out his anger with foot stomps and jumping up and down in anger. I wish I could say I remembered to pray in that moment, but I forgot, and at any rate I know the Lord was with us. I repeated my firm but calm order to get into his seat, got him buckled in, then got his eyes on mine (always a challenge for anyone on the spectrum) and explained in my mom voice that he needed to stop this tantrum right now or he would need consequences. It was effective to keep him from having the tantrum in the car. Phew. I prayed then, and we were able to continue with our day. I am grateful God helped us through. I’ll probably find myself in this situation again, and in all honesty will probably find myself being judged. I can’t help that, but I can definitely help how I see others and what eye I place on them.

I pray today that the eye of mercy would be firmly planted in my eye socket, and that I would not take the role of judge in the life of other moms that I encounter. Today, moms, let’s let mercy triumph!

Prayer:

Lord, You are the judge of us all, and in Your great mercy You have made provision for Your children to have the greatest mercy of all through the cross of Jesus Christ. I thank You that my tendency to judge can be cleansed along with any other sins if I confess them to You. Please help me to remove any log of judgment from my eyes, and let the eye of mercy be planted firmly in its place.

I ask today that You will empower me to encourage other moms in Your grace and mercy, and that You would also encourage them with Your love and grace.

I thank You today for my child(ren). You gave them to me so that I could raise them in Your way. I want You to teach me the way to be their mom, and I want to be merciful to them as well. I lift up (area of need or concern) to Your throne. This challenge often feels insurmountable, and I can easily try to fix it on my own. Give me Your strategies, and if there is something I need to stop show me so I can stop by Your grace.

I bless You today, Lord. You are faithful.

In Jesus’ Name I pray, amen.