We Will Not Be Shaken

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

We Will Not Be Shaken

Scripture:
1 Corinthians 4:7-9
7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; 8 we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing;9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.

Romans 8:35-37
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

1 Peter 1:6-7
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

1 Peter 4:12-14
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.

Isaiah 62:4
You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her, and your land Married; for the Lord delights in you, and your land shall be married.

Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.

Psalm 42:11
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

Devotional:
There is no doubt about it. Parenting contains a series of trials. No question about that at all. If we enter into parenting unaware of this, we can truly be blindsided. Even walking in aware, the daily challenges from the beginning and the exhaustion of the early days often come as a surprise. Add to that any particular challenges or special needs, and at times it can feel like not only does parenting CONTAIN trials, it IS a trial.

This is something I can truly relate to. I admit that having waited until I was 37 to have my first child, in many ways I idealized what being a parent would be like, not to mention what kind of mother I would be.
Trials began in pregnancy. With both my pregnancies, preterm labor was stopped at 28 weeks. My plan for a natural birth (well, OK, as long as I could get through the pain with my many fibroids and ovarian cysts) was removed as it was discovered that I was not dilating after hours of exhausting labor with broken water. A C-section was performed. Trial. The questions circled my brain about the decision we felt we needed to make. Were we right? Should we have waited longer? Does this mean I am a bad mother?

Three days after Christian came, it became abundantly clear that I did not have milk for him. We did EVERYTHING we could. We pumped until I was raw. We used a tube from the bottle of supplemental formula to my breast to work on latching while we tried to get the milk to come in. Everything we were coached to do, we tried. Hours of pumping produced ½ oz at a time. Reaching out for support only produced questions and what felt like criticism that we hadn’t done everything we needed from those for whom these methods did work. Looking back, I know that we could not have changed the outcome. But still….the lingering doubt….was I a bad mom because I couldn’t breast feed my babies?

My sweet, calm, easy little boy trained to sleep through the night at 4 months. Wow, was I a GOOD mom! Not Chloe. Nope! Oh, no…I’m a bad mom again.

At around 6 months old, Christian experienced his first infant epilepsy seizure. I had these as a baby too, so was not completely surprised, but still was thrown completely off my plan as we spent days at the hospital with what seemed could be a lifelong plan of seizure management.  When Chloe had hers,  I still struggled with feeling like God was punishing me, but am thankful that God gave me peace.

Then came the scariest trial of all. After Christian had spent months on seizure medication, our pediatrician handed me what is a standard 1-year-old questionnaire in her office. The answers to most of the questions pointed to the thing I had been suspecting for months as my little boy had suddenly become completely nonresponsive following being diagnosed with epilepsy.

Autism.

My denial lasted for four months. During this time I drew near to the Lord, pressing in, praying, seeking Him. I am so thankful it only took me four months to finally approach my husband to face that we needed to have him professionally evaluated. Step by step we went through the process. Evaluation. Early flagging (similar to diagnosis). Early intervention. OT. PT. Speech. All while pregnant with our second. When preterm labor began at 28 weeks with Chloe, it did not stop. I had non Braxton Hicks labor producing contractions for hours every day and was put on bed rest at 30 weeks. It became necessary to have Christian’s therapies come in to our home. My house felt like a disaster all the time as my husband struggled to juggle housekeeping and work, and I felt constantly embarrassed. Like a bad mom. Like a bad wife.

The list goes on. But through these many trials, God took each one and showed me that these trials were not about what kind of mom I am. On the contrary, instead of these trials reflecting on my worth and value, they served to strengthen me so that I could begin to focus on the truth. And, the truth is: He has given me these children so that I might be a minister of the gospel to them that they would become a young man and woman of God and fulfil His purposes for their lives. These trials are the enemy’s way of trying to keep me from being effective in raising them-to take me out-and to short circuit His work in their lives-to take them out.

I will not give in to this. There is no doubt that these trials feel overwhelming and that at times I still struggle with how they connect to my worth and God’s pleasure with me. But each time another trial comes my way, my resolve is strengthened that I WILL NOT let the enemy work on my mind this way and render me useless. No way.

I will hope in God! I will lift up my eyes to the hills. God is my help. And, He has ordained my husband and me as ministers of the Gospel to our children. We will not be shaken.

We are going through one of life’s greatest trials right now, the losing of a parent. The enemy is trying to get us downcast, but thank God we have not become overwhelmed or discouraged. We are blessed with hearts that soak in the Presence of the Lord each day. We will not be destroyed.

God is our help. He is our hope. We will not be shaken.

Prayer:
Father, I ask today that You will minister this truth deep into my heart and renew my mind to the truth about the trials I face as a mom (and wife). You are not silent. You desire to speak truth to me. I receive it today.

I lift up my child(ren) and ask that You will protect them from the attacks of the enemies. Let our trials produce the fruit of righteousness and do not allow us to be overwhelmed.

I thank You that You are with us. Bless our home with joy and peace.

In Jesus’ Name I pray, amen.

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