My Rock

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Scripture:

Psalm 62:5-8
⁵ My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.
⁶ He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.
⁷ On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
⁸ Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Proverbs 18:10

The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.

1 Samuel 2:2

There is no one holy like the LORD; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God.

Psalm 18:2

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Deuteronomy 32:4

“The Rock, his work is perfect, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is he.

Proverbs 18:10

He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

Devotional:

I am so grateful for the Presence of God in my life. Yesterday was a challenging day. God has begun to reveal to me that I operate in a low level of anxiety a good amount of the time. When things do not line up with my comfort level, that anxiety ramps up and I start looking for a way out or try to fix the problem. I don’t like feeling “not good,” as I shared with my husband last night.

Part of my journey as a believer has been coming face to face with the fact that when I stopped numbing my pain with alcohol in 2000, I slowly replaced the numbing with overeating. I have always struggled with a sugar addiction, but had been able to curb it and turn it around. However, having much to work through from my past and deep wounds I struggled to face, hiding my pain with the rush of sweets became a way of life.

God showed me in 2014 that I needed to own this as an addiction, and allow Him to heal me. I attended a workshop geared toward inner healing with the goal of freedom from food addiction in January 2015. It has been a beautiful time of healing, and I am so grateful that I have lost 60 of the 100 pounds that I needed to lose to be in a normal and healthy weight range. I hit a wall, and began to slowly gain back weight at the beginning of this year and couldn’t understand that no matter how I tried to get back on, I could not lose past a certain point.

The journey has been like a funnel, and recently I discovered that some of the inner health issues that stemmed from obesity have caused more damage to my liver than I was aware. I was put on a very restrictive diet in February, and God used that situation to help me to click that this is not about weight loss. It is about regaining my life. It is about leaning on Him, and being here for my husband and children for the duration.

Mostly it is about honoring Him, and coming to Him for my strength.

Since food has been removed as a crutch, I have come to clarity about my anxiety. I actually was leaning on food for my comfort, for my sense of everything feeling OK.

But it is no foundation. It is no rock.

God is my rock!

As I am learning (emphasis on learning! Not having learned yet by any means!) to trust in Him, He is showing me that my refuge is in Him alone. It is the right place of refuge. Running to Him is the only place of safety.

I struggle to feel like being hidden in God is enough. I feel like I’m supposed to stand on my own two feet. Well, that’s not what God said. He told us to lean on Him. I want Him to show me each day, more and more, that a place of refuge is also a place of rest, a place of hiding from the anxieties and fears and painful circumstances. In that place of refuge, I will not be shaken.

Hiding in Him is not numbing. It is healing. It is where our strength is found. Weak, so then I am strong.

My work is not necessary. His work is perfect!

Prayer:

Lord, I long to put my trust in You. I long to lift my hands and sing, there is no one like my God! But sometimes my arms feel heavy, and I feel afraid, and I want to run into worrying, or avoiding, or another “rock” that produces no peace and no relief.

Today, Lord, I release my grip on my anxiety. I bring it to You. I confess that I have harbored this, and that it is not mine to harbor. Forgive me for holding on to something that You do not want me to carry.

Each day, I ask that You will continually reveal to me when I am not hiding in You. Help me not to lean on my crutches, but to find a place of hiding, snuggling up, and being protected in You.

I lift up my child(ren) (and my husband) and ask that You would help me to release them to You as well. Forgive me for trying to do Your job in our difficult circumstances. Show me how to line up with Your plan and purpose.

Today, Lord, I place You on the throne and give it up to You.

In Jesus’ Name I pray, amen.