My Shoulds

Thursday, April 27, 2017

My Shoulds

1 Corinthians 10:24

Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor.

Philippians 2:4-5
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus…

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.

Philippians 2:3-5

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.

John 13:34

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

Devotional:

Selfishness. It is really, really hard to take an honest look at it. As a wife and mother, I have a picture in my mind that includes a lot of “shoulds”. My husband “should” lead us a certain way. My children “should” behave a certain way.

Drivers “should” drive a certain way….

Oh, sigh. I could so easily justify that there IS a right way, there IS a wrong way, and THAT is why I act out and sin in my anger. I snap at my husband “because” he…… fill in the blank. I lose my temper with my children “because” they….fill in the blank. The hard truth I have to face is that I put MY agenda, and all my “shoulds,” first before them. They don’t matter as much as my sense of right and wrong.

So, what does that really make me? If I look and examine it honestly, I’ve taken on the role of judge and jury. I’ve taken God’s throne, and have not truly surrendered the actions of others to Him. Selfishness and pride do sit at the root of our sin, and while it can be hard for a person like me who struggles with perfectionism and shame to take a look at my own selfishness, it truly is the only way to become fully Christlike.

Confess. Ask forgiveness. Make amends.

And learn…to prefer them truly, not in words only.

It is still a work in progress in my own life, and that has to be OK. I’m not going to have it all together in this lifetime; that is why the recovery focus of “one day at a time, one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace” is so helpful. So….

Today. What is one thing we can do to truly show preference to the others in our life? Let’s give God space to teach us a new normal!

Prayer:

God, I am thankful that You show me the beauty and encouragement, but also that You give me the times of correction that I need. I embrace both and receive Your instruction with willingness.

Today take from me selfishness, pride, and justification. I lift these character defects to You and ask that You transform them by Your grace and mercy.

I lift up my husband today and ask that You provide him this wisdom and insight as well. Help him to be healed as I choose to prefer him above myself.

I lift up my child(ren) to You today and ask for Your kindness to lead them to any repentance needed in the areas of selfishness, pride, and justification as well. It is Your kindness, Lord, that leads to repentance (Romans 2:4).

I lift up (area of need or concern) and ask for Your intervention.

In Jesus’ Name I pray, amen.