Love Depends on God

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Scripture:

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

² If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.³ And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

1 Peter 4:8

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

Galatians 5:22

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…

1 John 4:8

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 Timothy 1:5

The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

Devotional:

This week has been so hard. Earlier this week, I was hit with illness out of the blue and found myself fighting blackouts and extreme dizziness, as well as flu symptoms. I was struggling with some old health issues that are related to a liver problem, as well as a 24 hour flu bug, all at once. We were able to get past that, but I have been taking my life at a much slower pace. Unfortunately, the problem with my liver affects my hormones, and I have been finding myself very short tempered with my family and others. More unfortunately, it is my family who sees the worst of it. I become impatient, and hear myself barking and nagging, though these behaviors make me physically sick two seconds later. I get stuck in a pattern of impatience and shame. I don’t want to be there, I want to be steady, calm, predictable and a blessing to my family. I have found myself on my knees below eye level with my children several times asking them to forgive me, and doing the same with my husband.

Love tested.

Two days ago, we received a call that my father in law, my husband’s adoptive father, is very sick and has been admitted to the hospital. Sadly, the history here is not warm. We have been responsible for his skilled care for about a year now, after it was discovered that he had been grossly negligent of himself to the point of putting himself in physical harm. The deeper history is one of neglect, selfishness, and abandonment toward my husband. The role reversal has been very heartbreaking. We have made every effort we felt led to be available to him, though it is very challenging and often put painful stress on us and our children. When we received the call, it was hard to know what to expect, because several times in the past the emergency was not indeed an emergency. Not this time. God had provided the timing, and we already had childcare available so that we could together trek to the emergency room where he was laying, completely incoherent and vulnerable, skin and bones. My husband’s stoic face masked only deep heartbreak over a father lost before he is gone.

Love tested.

I don’t know the answers to these situations, but I am so grateful that I know the One Who does.

As we stood in the hospital room with my father, though, there was a moment when I felt led to look into his eyes, and to tell him “Dwight, you are a blessing. We love you.” I felt strongly that the Spirit of God was telling the little boy within him that he was loved. This love had to come from God, because my own first instinct is to shrink away. In that moment, his eyes locked with mine. From within my spirit came the hymn, “The Old Rugged Cross.” I began to hum it gently. Within seconds, he withdrew. My spirit felt deeply grieved, and I simply began to intercede for him. Because he is verbally nonresponsive, I may never know what his heart has received. I only know that we have reached out as best we can, and that this time is his with the Lord. The Lord is the One Who holds the burden for his soul. However, the obedience to express this love to him had to come from a surrender, and bypass the hurt and desire to protect my husband. This is the kind of love that comes from God.

In these places of raw vulnerability, the verses about love can be shaming if I forget the main thing: Love does not come from me nor is it dependent on me. Love is from God. It flows from Him and bypasses all my fleshly failings.

It can be so easy for me to make this a “to do item,” but this sort of week reminds me that this life is ongoing. A process. Parenting challenging children, being the adult child of dependent parents, walking out health challenges, these real trials are the training ground to grow us in love. No ideal of perfection or having arrived will serve us nor the people we care for. Instead, God will continue growing, refining, shaping and maturing us in love for a lifetime. May this process take us continually further as we walk out the challenges we face today.

Prayer:

Lord, there are times when I just don’t feel like I am “doing” love well. I see my failures, and I feel like I must be the one who doesn’t know You because I am lacking in love.

Father, today I ask that You would show me a new understanding of love and how it originates from You. Love my children (and my spouse) through me, bypassing my failings. Forgive me for thinking this depends on me. Help me to place the burden at Your feet.

I lift up my child(ren) to You today. I ask that Your love will permeate their hearts, and that they would be rooted and grounded in Your love. I pray it would wash over them. If I have hurt them, please heal them from the tops of their heads to the bottom of their feet. Cause healing to flow throughout their hearts, and restore and renew our bond and connection. Help me not to operate out of shame and regret, but in humility and grace.

I lift up (area of need or concern) with my children today as well. You are the One Who is responsible for deliverance, and I thank You that this time of intercession is the only thing You require of me in the solution. Help me to know how to walk out Your solution with patience and wisdom.

In Jesus’ Name I pray, amen.